Tuesday, January 31, 2012

In love all over again

She is here. She is wonderful. She is perfect.

Josephine Joy Cauley ~ Josie

Josephine - God will increase or add
Joy - happiness

The perfect name for our surprise gift from God after weathering such
a tough storm last year. We truly are blessed.

I don't know how to add pics from my phone but I promise to post her sweet face when I get home.

Thank you for the prayers!

Monday, January 30, 2012


Well folks, the day has finally arrived. I check in to St. Francis at 4am tomorrow! Please say a prayer for my family, for the baby, and for me. Sorry I am not posting something long and eloquent, but I've got a bag to pack and girls to love on. This is our last night as 4. Tomorrow we will become Cauley, party of five!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Chillin at St. Fran.

Im all checked in and hooked up. Got nauseous when nurse missed my vein the first try. Second time worked. In here to monitor amniotic fluid levels. Could have baby today, tomorrow or next week. No telling.

Nighttime update: fluid levels came up and I am home now. Mom here to take care of me! Gotta love Mama! Thanks for prayers! We are doing fine and looks like she will stay in the oven a little longer.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Why? And How?

I'm at home today with a sick five year old. Right now she is asleep in my bed, fully dressed, under a down comforter and her last words before drifting off were "I'm cold." Its hard to understand sickness and illness and disease. She was fine one minute and had fever the next. She has been sick so much this past year and we keep asking the unanswerable question - why?

We still don't have an answer and neither do so many other people who wonder that very same thing regarding issues in their own lives. Right now I have a dear friend wondering that very same thing as her own medical journey begins. From what I've learned over the past year, medical journeys aren't about medicine as much as they are faith. I also know that we aren't promised an answer to why. We aren't even promised an easy walk, but most of us do have it easy until a rock in our path sends us stumbling. Then we tend to fall to our knees, ask why, ask for help, and then, depending on our faith, either get up and recognize that help was already there, or stay down in the dirt dwelling on the why.

I also know that those rocks serve as perspective changers. The view is much different on two feet as opposed to ones knees. I think it is imperative that we all experience time on our knees. Not just "on our knees in prayer" but on our knees as in completely out of control of a situation so that me must fully rely on God's plan and His provisions for our lives. It is painful to stay on the knees for too long. It hurts. But it also makes you stronger, more dependent on Him. Isn't that an oxymoron! We grow stronger as we become more dependent. That is the complete opposite of what the world teaches us. The world says dependence is weakness. I know that is not true. I've been the strongest when my backbone turned to mush and Christ was standing for me. Ask any mother who has had a sick child. Ask anyone who has watched a loved one suffer. Ask anyone who is waiting for results. It's not our own strength but the strength of the Lord in us. That doesn't answer the why, but it does answer the how.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Pregnant Lady Seeking Fairy

Everyone says each child is different, each pregnancy is different. So true.  This round I've been more fatigued, probably due to the fact that I have two instead of one, just came off a hard year, moved, still working full time, and I hate to admit it but I'm three years older than I was the last time. So you can imagine my surprise when I started having contractions a few weeks ago, right after Christmas. No biggie, just Braxton Hicks...I overdid it shopping and running errands, didn't drink enough water.  But then they continued despite rest and water, so now I'm taking meds to keep them at bay.  The meds make me feel dizzy for about an hour and a half after I take them, really fun, especially for the lucky group of 8th graders that gets to witness my head spinning.Needless to say, this pregnancy is very different from the others for a variety of reasons. The one consistent thread is that I'm having another baby girl that I already love.

According to my doc appointment from Wednesday, the baby looks to be around 5 lbs 11 oz. The meds are working because I am not progressing and I just need to try to rest as much as possible. That makes it hard to do all of the nesting that I want to do, complete all the Pinterest projects I have on tap, and soak up the last few days with my two before I have three.  I need a magical nursery fairy to pop in, wave a wand, and turn my cluttered area into the soothing space I have in my mind.  Ain't happenin', I know, but a girl can dream.  I also know that that stuff isn't really important. I have my needs, the rest is just worldly details that I so easily get distracted with.  I mean really, does it matter if I have the wall behind the crib decorated with a "Like" worthy display? Do I really need cute storage baskets? I know better, but the details can make it fun during this long waiting period.

Have a great weekend! Happy Pinteresting to all my peeps. Only 33 days to go, if we make it that long.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

34 weeks today!

I'm skipping a big post about resolutions in the same manner that I skipped fun events in December. I'm just too focused on the baby to put too much thought into anything else right now.  I feel pretty good, just getting to that uncomfortable stage punctuated with a full time waddle, restless sleep, and nesting.  I feel lucky if I fall asleep around 9 and sleep until midnight, which is usually my first potty break. Then I am up every hour and a half at least to potty again, roll over, or situate pillows.  Just not real comfy right now. I think that is part of God's way of prepping me for the  baby. I'm not getting much sleep now so I'll be used to it once the baby actually does arrive. 

I did make a resolution, though: Worry less and pray more. It sounds simplistic but this is a big one for me, especially coming off the rough year we've had.  Whenever I feel the urge to worry (usually me trying to play God and fix things for other people) I am going to just pray. I don't know why I'm so vain to think that I can solve the problems of anyone but myself...I don't even do a great job of handling my own issues.  That being said, my goal is to fill myself with scriptures to lean on during those moments. This really does help! So my mantra isn't so much "Don't worry, Be happy," or "Hakuna Matata," as it is, "Just Pray."  Again, I hope this doesn't come off sounding pious because this is an action for me; I have to conscientiously pull my hands away from the steering wheel and lift them up to God. A good friend recently told me, "You know, you aren't supposed to play God. You aren't here to save people from problems. But you are here to be an intercessor in prayer. You can listen and you can pray." It helped me to hear what I CAN do. I am humbled yet again.

Have a great week! I head to the doc tomorrow to start my weekly ultrasounds and check up.  Baby girl seems to be doing well; she certainly does kick a lot!

FYI - I started a Twitter account just so I could start a Pinterest account but they haven't replied to me yet. That is by far the most addicting thing in technology. I get so overwhelmed and then disheartened that EVERY inch of my house isn't as fabulous as all the pins I love! Pathetic, I know. But I did get some cute ideas for the baby room! : )