I felt it this morning. That wake up and want to write thing, but I've been waiting to meet with the new doctor so I can share her progress with you. I'm still waiting and I can't hold back the urge my fingers have to meet with these keys any longer, so I'm here.
We are in transition. Dr. Q left sometime in the wee hours of morning and I am delighted that I was snoozing peacefully while he bid Shreveport farewell. Yesterday afternoon he quietly knocked on the door of our sleeping room and waved me to come out into the hall with a calm half smile. Dr. Q is steady and honest, two of my absolute favorite qualities in a doctor. He answered my questions and assured me that Harper will continue to be in good hands, just not his.
Did I say we are still waiting on our new doctor? Does he know that it is 10:08am?? So as we wait for these new hands, hands belonging to a man I've never laid eyes on, hands that are caring for someone else somewhere else, I am encouraged that Harper is always in the hands of our loving, ultimate physician. His hands are also steady and honest, but they are also always on our shift, by our bed, answering our call.
Yesterday we had a soothing steady stream of visitors. Our pastor brought us lunch and the conversation turned to the movie "Country Strong." He brought up the point that in the movie the husband, Tim McGraw, only loves the wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, when she is strong. Throughout the entire movie he only shows his love when she is able to hold her head up and sing, smile. If she falters or shows weakness, boom..he is gone, can't handle it. When Skin was saying all of this all I could think was, "Whew, I'm so glad God isn't that way, so glad that when we are the weakest that is when His strength is revealed the most." I could barely hold my head up the other day. I know for certain that I am able to face the day today because of God's strength and not my own. He has never left me. Unconditional. Unwavering. Steady and Honest.
Last night I was encouraged by words spoken from a friend. She said, through tears, "You hear about stuff like this happening, but when it happens to someone you know it is different. Knowing Harper, and the way she is, I know that of all people she can handle this. She is strong enough to fight this." I thought silently about my feisty girl. I thought about her strong will, her fierce determination, her mighty love. I thought about the way I shift the description of bossy into born leader. I smiled at the pink boxing gloves awaiting her in our room, a gift from a friend, a friend that knows her. Smiling I said, "Yeah, but when my kid beats up your kid in middle school, think back to this." Again, laughter through tears.
One of my favorite quotes from a favorite movie: "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
Steel Magnolias. So many times this week scenes from that movie have come to me. Some have made me laugh and others force me to fight back tears. When my friend said, "You can hit me, I'll be Weezah!" the laughter escaped from somewhere deep inside. Another friend said, "Take a whack a Weezah," and coke went into my nose. Somehow there are moments of laughter hidden within this nightmare. Steel Magnolia. Beautiful strength. Harper Leigh Cauley.