Throughout this process (that is how the doctor's refer to the infection in her lungs...the process) I have been overwhelmed with the support from strangers.
Yesterday I received two pages worth of support from an unknown voice in Dallas. She shared her soul with me and encouraged me to pray God's word into this situation. I did.
Back in Shreveport I received a large box of crackers, candy, chips and soda from a complete stranger. She identified herself as "a friend of a friend," hugged me tightly, and then left.
My bosses daughter, whom I had never met, allowed me the use of her guest bed and shower while she was away for the day. She left the key under the mat and put the good towels out on the bathroom counter.
And then there are the prayers. Countless offerings to our almighty Father have been lifted in honor of my daughter by faces I've never seen. She has been the reason for numerous prayer chain telephone calls and e-mails, as well as the topic of many Facebook posts. Childhood friends, high school friends, college friends and new friends have all been praying for Harper, as well as my entire family. Spouses of my girlfriends have learned to follow a blog, some have learned what a blog is, and some have even used Kleenex in place of a sleeve.
Countless good has occurred as a result of our nightmare. I'm OK with that. In fact, I find joy in that. Because of Harper's illness, families have joined hands to petition her complete healing. Little ones have heard Mommy and Daddy pray a little more than normal. Prayers are being said other than bedtime. Her classmates are learning the true meaning of empathy and compassion. My own students, who I haven't seen since April 15, are witnessing the sacrifices made by a Mama. My niece and nephews are witnessing their own Mama's do whatever needs to be done when crisis hits the family. My mom and step-dad are connecting through the pain and helplessness of having a sick grand-baby. Nick is working on a play house we've been talking about for over a year.
And me, I am learning to be still. I find delight in her breaths and joy in her laughter. I am reminded that she was not only a miracle from God when she was brought into this world, she is a daily miracle. She is a constant reminder of God's blessings in my life. Through all of my pain I kept thinking, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." I was so afraid that she was going to be taken away from me. I was so afraid of being angry with God, but pledged to love Him even still. I secretly begged Him not to make me prove it. But she is here. She is still mine, ours, His. I hope this has changed me for the better. I hope this has changed me for good.
To quote one of my favorite musicals:
"Who can say if I've been changed for the better? Because I knew you...because I knew you...I have been changed for good."