Friday, May 13, 2011

nurse badge

My creamer is still in the fridge along with my sample packet of conditioner in the family shower. Evidence of our first visit remains like a welcoming committee along with the familiar faces of doctors and nurses we've grown to trust. Yes, we are back at Sutton's. This time, however, is better. I find that funny to say, or type...a better visit to the PICU. But it's reality. This time isn't as bad as the first time. This time I drove us over, no texting involved. I'm not sayin' I obeyed the speed limit; that is what emergency flashers are for, right? My hands gripped 10 and 2 firmly unless I got behind a reluctant driver, then I looked as if I was swatting flies trying to shoo them into the other lane. Then, as I passed, I would look over my right shoulder and smile sweetly while mouthing words of gratitude through a grim expression.

Last night was rough for her simply because "we are back in the hospital!" She didn't have any new complications. Her fever came down promptly. She ate a yummy dinner. She watched a couple of movies after Idol. What she didn't do was sleep...all night long. Ok realistically, maybe an hour. ..or two. That means I didn't either, of course, because she needs me. She needs me to hold her sweet hand, help her go potty, straighten the covers, take the covers off, fluff her pillow, move her pillow. You get the idea. Mom, that'd be me, IS the best nurse and I am slowly accepting that title and wearing it proudly, like a new badge on my Mom Scout Vest. I'm earning it, working for it and will have to prove my skill. And I can promise you that for a while this will be the badge I'm most proud of. This badge means more than the "Takes Cute Photos" badge or the "I Did Insanity" badge. This badge is making me dig deep. This is a gut level badge, soul level.

And while I'm learning just how much she needs me, even more present is my need for her. My Harper. My firstborn baby. My curly headed, blue eyed, dimple cheeked firecracker. She is mine. She is my first "Best" badge and Baylor is my second "Best" badge. Two equal badges that happened to come at different times.

This time things look better. Literally. Her xray and ultrasound did not reveal anything new. She still has pneumonia and needs iv antibiotics to keep it at bay. Her fever is down, thanks to Motrin, Tylenol, and a room resembling a meat locker. She is currently watching Nemo surrounded by her halo of blonde frizzies. Again, home is on the horizon. Possibly tomorrow. This time we will take the iv antibiotics with us. I wish we could pack us a few nurses from here to go home with us, but we will hopefully find someone near home to visit and teach me how to be an even better nurse. I can do this, for her.


  1. mandy I am so sorry honey I had no idea what was going on. I haven't had time to read your email u sent 2 weeks ago with the blog. I thought it was update on pics so I saved it to look at on vacation. I just read it all and I am a blubbering mess, it is every mothers nightmare. You are blesed to be the strong Christian you are because it I don't think I could have done what you did without Gods strength. I am praying for y'all and I willcome the minute you are ready for visitors. I can't cook but I know where to buy good casseroles. I will help you with any medical stuff if you need me. Please call me I will come immediatel or if you want me to get Baylor and take her and cole out to have some fun. I love you girl and I am here if you need me. Love, Laurie

  2. Mandy-
    As always we are lifting all of you up. I know you have to be struggling because of how long this has been going on. I am still here and willing to do whatever you need. We love Harper so much. I know she is getting better, and will be ready to play with Bodie before we know it. Until then, we will keep praying for that sweet girl. Let her know how much we miss her! Stay strong... You are amazing me daily with your strength, my friend.

  3. Just now reading your post. You, Mandy, make me want to be a much much better mama. I absolutely love how you capture every detail in your writing. On the other hand, please know that there are so many lift up your entire family in prayer. Thank you for updates!

  4. Mandy we are so sorry to hear ya'll are back in the hospital, but thankful it is no new complications! We are continuing to keep all of you in our prayers! The victory is already yours and Harpers!!! I pray God gives wisdom to everyone who has the privilege of taking care of Harper! I pray God gives favor in Harper's healing, that it will be a speedy recovery!!!! As you pass through this season I know that it will end and what a blessing to know there is sunshine on the other side of this storm!!! Just remember that when you are tired and blue there is always one door that is opened to you and that is the door to the house of prayer. There in that house you will find God waiting to meet you there to lift you up, encourage you and hold you!!!!

    Love and God Bless

    Your Daylight Family

  5. You, my friend are the "sunshine on a cloudy day, the icing on the cake and the "jelly"
    of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Praying for a quick return to home and health...oh me...your new career...home/health care nusre!
    You can go back to school!!!! Hee! Love, Pam


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